About a month ago I saw a TikTok that sparked this fixation on defining things as traditional or non-traditional. I won't dish the username but I found myself yelling, "That's very common!" at every "non-traditional" thing they did at their wedding. (I'd like to note that I love wedding traditions, unique things, and doing whatever makes you happy! I just find it irksome to call something "non-traditional" when it is anything but)
Maybe this stems from a misunderstanding of the word "traditional." For the purposes of this post, I will extend the definition of the word traditional to mean commonplace and/or trendy (I include trendy because it is common right now). Conversely, "non-traditional" is something unconventional or rarely seen. To confuse things a little more, I would argue that things can be unconventional now even if they were common in the past.
So let's look at some ideas TikTok users think are non-traditional (but definitely aren't), some that are, and some of my own ideas.
Things People Called "Non-Traditional" But Really Aren't
Sharing written letters before ceremony: I can't tell you the number of YouTube wedding videos I've watched where this has been done. Both parties are getting ready as the letters are read out loud.
Bridesmaids wore white: It's an old tradition for bridesmaids to wear white along with the bride. Even if that weren't the case, it has been a more recent trend as well. See my All White Wedding for some inspiration.
Releasing butterflies: I know for a fact this one has been around for a while. I'm not totally on board with it because I worry about the well-being of the butterflies/ the potential to release an invasive species but in theory it's sweet.
Friends did hair/makeup: I've done a bride's makeup, another bride's hair, flower girls' hair, bridesmaids' hair, and my own hair and makeup for multiple weddings. This entirely depends on budget and ability of the bridal party. Maybe it's more common to have it done professionally but I certainly wouldn't call this "non-traditional."
Made own bouquets: Again, this has to do with budget and skillset but I've seen it done
Had wedding party sit with guests: I halfway agree with this one. I do agree that this is less common but especially during a Catholic wedding there are times when the wedding party is sitting in the front row instead of up with the bride and groom.
Dessert table instead of cake: Maybe I'm crazy but I think a dessert table is more common than a cake these days.
Thank you speech to guests: I haven't personally witnessed this but it's something I've heard about. Have you seen this at no weddings?
Aisle reveal (no first look): What? What??? This is THE traditional thing.
Private last dance: At first I had this written down as a unique idea but then I saw it in about 15 more videos.
Mismatched bridesmaids dresses: Um. Have you been on Pinterest in the last 5 years? I couldn't say if matching or mismatched is more common but this is certainly not non-traditional. The majority of pins I have for bridesmaid inspiration are a different style at the very least but many are different colors, prints, textures, styles, etc.
Sunset pictures: Do I think this is common because weddings are my niche? So many day-of schedules include time for sunset photos.
Cocktail style food- no sit down dinner: This one may be in the wrong section. Currently, I'd say that this is less common. However, back in the 80s/90s I believe this was the typical choice. My parents had appetizers only at their wedding and others of my friend's parents did as well.
Foot washing ceremony: Have you been to a Christian wedding? Two of the four weddings I've been to since 2020 have had a foot washing ceremony.
Things That Are Actually Unconventional (Maybe Just to Me?)
Guests wearing all black @kerifay: I've seen the bridal party wearing all black but I've never seen the guests wearing all black.
Grazing table at sunset @sarahwoooood: I love grazing tables! Snack-like food is my favorite find of food.
Grandma was a flower girl @lionlizzz: This is precious. If my Granny were still here I think she'd love to do this.
Invite anyone to catch bouquet @alysiacolestyling: I know a lot of people hate the bouquet toss to the single ladies but I think this is a great way to change it up.
Main two walk down the aisle together @sggdrip: How special! This helps to make it more about the Main Two.
Outfit change for bride and groom @jojohnsonoverby: To be honest, outfit changes feel a little silly to me because of the amount that you spend on each piece, but both changing? Fun.
Walk down the aisle with framed pics of loved ones @kwolfephotography: I thought I'd seen all of the ideas for how to honor loved ones but I've never seen this.
Teddy bear toss for the kids @lydiaeray: How cute! Another great way to not single out (ha ha) the singles and to entertain kids at your wedding.
Rent a bouncy house: I've seen this in a styled shoot before but never in an actual wedding.
Toasts/Speeches at rehearsal dinner: I attended a wedding where they did this (shoutout to Abby & Ryan) and it was the best. Frankly, I find speeches the night of boring at best and awkward at most.
If your goal is to have a wedding like no other you could really go off the deep end into uniqueness. You could wear gym shorts or athleisure wear for your nuptials or send your guests to an escape room in order to gain access to the reception (I'd be all about this).
However, from what I've observed, most people want traditional adjacent where the wedding day still looks like a wedding. Here are a few of my ideas.
Have a slideshow during first dance: I live in fear of 100+ guests staring at me and my new-husband for longer than a minute while we sway and look at each other. My solution? Have a slideshow of pictures from your relationship for them to look at while you dance. You'd need a projector and something project on but as a bride and/or guest I would love this (I don't like watching first dances either).
No gifts for real: Technically, I think that gifts are not required at a wedding, but usually they are expected and some will even keep track of who gives gifts and who doesn't. If you're in a place where you can do this, really specify no gifts. No gifts, no honeymoon fund, no cash. Now, unfortunately, it can be considered rude to not provide any options, so make a small registry but make it clear that you do not expect gifts.
Casual point and shoot videography: I have not been married so I don't know exactly what videographers deliver. I have, though, watched hundreds of wedding videos. The current ones are all very stylized, cinematic, and like a movie trailer. My parents' wedding video would seem amateur by today's standards- a tripod set up for the ceremony, overhearing conversations during the reception, and focus on the most random of things. I love the movie trailer videos but I find the video with everything left in very authentic. Can we return to that? Maybe have both? Do you get this footage? I need answers!
Welcome in instead of send off: I've seen send offs from the ceremony and from the reception but I've never seen a big "welcome in" to the reception. This could be from the cocktail hour and would be even more fun than the emcee announcing the couple. It also means that you don't have to pay the photographer to stay until the end.
Do you agree with my traditional versus non-traditional labels? Do you have any fun, unique ideas you'd love to see at a wedding? Let me know below!
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