Maybe you've always wanted to have a non-traditional, non-ballroom, small guest list wedding. Or, perhaps, you've always wanted a "large" wedding but are starting to realize that there are other options that may suit you and your partner better. Here are 8 things to think through before deciding for your Big Day.
1. Budget
I believe in weddings at any budget. You can execute your Big Day for hundreds, thousands, tens of thousands, or hundreds of thousands of dollars (If you're spending over a million can I please get an invite? I just want to see what's up). But you need to know what your budget is and what you're hoping to get out of it- we'll touch more on this under Number 2. If your budget is under $1000, that likely puts you in the category for an elopement or courthouse wedding. If your budget is $25,000, that could be an all paid destination trip for a micro-wedding's worth of guests or a larger sized more traditional wedding. Set your budget, look at what you value, get some quotes or look at averages for the area, and work from there.
2. What Do You Value?
Do you love party planning? Do you like spending time with as many loved ones at a time as possible? Is getting married in your childhood church important to you? These questions are looking to get at what you value.
If you are most comfortable with your closest family and friends and want to have conversations with all of them, you may lean towards a micro-wedding. If you are the life of the party and have always dreamed of a family reunion type setting you would likely thrive with a more traditionally sized wedding. If the only thing you're interested in is being married to your love and don't care about the superfluities of the wedding world, you may favor eloping or going to the courthouse.
These questions don't just have to be about the size of the wedding. Maybe you have a $5000 budget but you highly value a stellar photographer or videographer. This limits what you can spend on guests. Perhaps you de-value pre-wedding festivities like a bachelorette/bachelor party giving you more money to put towards a more expensive outfit dress or tux. You could be set on traveling across the country to get married in your hometown so you need a larger travel budget but feel comfortable having fewer guests.
3. Your Dreams
This is similar to your values but deserves its own section. What have you and your partner always dreamed about? Ever since I was young I've had a picture of how I thought my wedding would look. I used to say I wanted a 250+ guest list, likely in a ballroom, with all of the traditional wedding things (flower toss, cake cutting, fancy getaway car). In contrast, my boyfriend has never dreamed of a big wedding and would prefer to elope just the two of us. Combining two peoples' differing ideas can be tricky but it certainly can be done. Through conversations, I've realized that I don't value a large wedding as much as I thought I did and many wedding day traditions I don't care about or even like. My boyfriend has found that he does value me having a wedding more closely aligned with my dream.
4. Family Expectations
Hear me out. This is something you need to consider but not necessarily subscribe to. Families often have opinions regarding weddings (generally against eloping and for traditional weddings). Will your mom freak out if you don't get married in a church? Does your little sister hate to travel and expect you to have it in your hometown? Does your dad think all of his cousins need to be invited?
Additionally, are any of these people helping pay for your wedding? If so, they may feel like their expectations should be met. If not, and you feel like what you want is worth them being a little miffed for a bit, do what you like! Do want you like anyway, honestly, but keep these things in mind!
5. Important Events
Important events in your relationship can influence what type of wedding you have. If you met on your Spring Break Trip in Cancun, you may like a micro-wedding in Mexico. If your first couple's trip was to Savannah, Georgia you may seek out a grand church in the area. If you both spend every weekend going on hikes you'd probably like an adventurous mountain elopement.
6. Post-Wedding Goals
This usually ties into your budget but doesn't have to in all cases. A down payment on a house or replacing a forever broken down car may be more important than a large wedding. Do you want to honeymoon in the same place that your ceremony is? Do you want to have a next-day brunch with your closest family and friends? Make sure your goals fit in with the cost, location, and size of your wedding.
7. Weddings You've Attended
The bonus to not being the first person in your friend group to get married is that you get to observe more weddings before it's your turn! Attending so many weddings made me realize the traditions that I do and don't care about (newsflash- I don't care about most of them). I never considered a small wedding until my best friend had a backyard wedding and I loved it. When my boyfriend and I go to weddings together we like to have an unpacking sesh discussing the things we would or wouldn't like at our own wedding.
8. Your Options
There are plenty of options to satisfy you and your partner. Elopements and court house weddings have always been around but are gaining popularity. Micro-Weddings have been born out of current events (limited numbers for gatherings) but, I think, are here to stay. And, of course, larger weddings will always be with us. I think it's fantastic that current couples are seeing that they don't have to host a traditional wedding just because it's what is usually done.
See my board for Elopements and Micro-Weddings for more mini-mony inspiration.
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